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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive caring and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends."

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"Math and meth sound the same but one is a life ruiner and the other one is meth."
"Anyone ever notice how the word ""opinion"" looks like ""onion"", and how if you cut into either, people start crying?"
"[spoken while holding in a huge bong rip] i'll take a shower when the market demands it"
"Death is a part of life... Specifically the last part."
"Why are Pirates pirates??? Because they ARRRRR"
"Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel."
"My cab driver just described Seattle as ""Not that horrible of a place."" Get that guy a job on the tourism board."
"Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic."
"A great sun/boob analogy Boobs are like the sun. They keep you warm and make you happy, but stare directly at it and you are in trouble."