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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina."

"[Game of Thrones] How do you ask a Northerner if they are of noble descent? Arya Stark?"

"Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading."

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"Strings are usually pretty straight Unless they're knot"

"What do you get if you cross a pig with a karate expert? A pork chop."

"Final words on germanwings flight recorder: ""Dave's not here..."""

"What do a Typhoon and Aquaman have in common? They both come in waves. Context: In Taiwan at the moment, thought of this while watching motorcycles get knocked over by wind."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking a chicken."

"You've got to be twins. You're too stupid to be one person."