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Joke of the Day
"Barista: How do you take your coffee? Me: Orally."
Next Joke
"*notices zipper is down* OMG! *zips it up* FRIEND: Thanks but next time just tell me and I'll do it myself"
"Black people! Guns! Police officers."
"Dang girl are you Die Hard on TBS because it looks like all the good parts are missing."
"Once a neighbor kid asked if my dog had any nicknames & I lied & made a bunch up & now whenever I see her she asks how Tree Trunk' is doing"
"My WD-40 can rusted. Now that's irony."
"I wish i was like my coffee. Rich and strong."
"I don't get the term ""Pansexual"" I mean, I like bread as much as the next guy, but c'mon!"
"Chuck Norris can taste lies."
"*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!"