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Joke of the Day

"*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!"

"Am I original? -Yeaaah. Am I the only one? -Yeaaah. Do you wanna build a snowman? -Go away, Anna. Ok byyyyye."

"Why did the black man buy 4 boxes of condoms? Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale."

"A man is in the doctor's office: ""Doctor, can I get AIDS from sitting on a toilet seat?"" ""Well yes, but only if you sit down before the last guy gets up."""

"Manslaughter: I always used to read it as 'man's laughter'. Seems oddly appropriate for someone who's got away with murder..."

"My lame RPG joke. What do you call a thief with steel armor? A stealer!!!!!"

"What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill you."" A Jewish mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill myself."""

"How many bones are there in a graveyard? A skeleTON."

"How do you find out if a dead man has autism? You give them an autopsy"

"""Why are you always tired, Dad?"" my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye."