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Joke of the Day

"What do you become when you run out of coffee? Depresso"

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"

"How does George W. Bush do well on his high school midterms? He uses study strategeries."

"I'm drunk & I want a TV Special called ""Wizard Fight"" where David Copperfield, David Blaine and Cris Angel try to make each other disappear."

"I've seen such a change in myself this past year. I've really grown a lot. I need bigger pants"

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"I'm worried about my girlfriend recently... I'm always worried if shes eating well, sleeping well, or if she exists at all."

"Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual? Because the pedals fell off."

"Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump."