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Joke of the Day

"Congratulations, everyone who saw me and my kids at the mall today. That's the cheapest birth control you will ever have."

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"Two scientists walk into a bar... One asks for a H2O, the other asks for a H2O too. The bartender hands them both glasses of water and asks them why they're talking in scientific terms."

"What's the brightest airship ever made? LED Zeppelin"

"I asked my mom why I had to go to singing lessons. She told me it was a skill I needed to a choir."

"Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wasn't raining!"

"Today i learned that the average person has 8 sexual partners in their lifetime Today i also learned im a whore"

"Captain Oveur: Say Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Joey: No Sir, but I have been in a chicken coop."

"If vegetarians eat vegetables... What do egalitarians eat? edit: for originality points"

"I hate Mexican jokes... Nunca puedo entenderlos. Edit: The translation of this is ""I never understand them""."