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Joke of the Day

"Your mom's so old, she's probably going to die soon."

"If you love something, set a cheese trap. If you catch it, it's a mouse. Why are you in love with a mouse?"

"There was a monster who ate properties... He ate a lot."

"Why does no one care that space is a vacuum? Oh it doesn't really matter."

"Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it."

"If God had wanted you to talk more than listen, he would have given you two mouths and one ear."

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"Why doesn't the sun need to go to University? He's too bright."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar-fifty, and deer nuts are under a buck."

"What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion!"