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Joke of the Day

"What medical condition are Clinton supporters currently experiencing? Tendienitis"

"(NSFW) What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."

"I just walked across my cat's keyboard while he was filing his tax return."

"Why do divers fall backwards into the water? If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"I missed a call from a girl last night... I missed a call from a girl last night. I called her back, she said she must've butt dialed me. I said, ""Maybe your butt knows what it wants."""

"Two fish are in a tank One is driving, the other is shooting Two soldiers are in a tank They drown"

"What's a martian's favorite wine? Chardonayy."

"That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy."

"If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear."

"Why is it so hard for programmers to get a prescription for pain killers? They have a history with codeine."