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Joke of the Day

"It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up."

"How does Hasbro test tickle me elmo's? They have test-tickles."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got his left side cut off? He's all right now."

"Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !"

"Knowing its International Women's Day is the only thing I know about women."

"Getting gilded is like losing your virginity I have yet to experience it... Edit: Thank you, abcriminal, for the gold. It was a worthy experience."

"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem writes you"

"What's DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11, because it has another 1."

"I heard going on the internet gives you dementia. Who are you?"