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Joke of the Day

"I m at the ATM when a robber holding his gun at my back... He asks: do you want to see your family again? I said ""no"". We both had a good laugh."

"Why shouldn't white people swim? Crackers get soggy when wet."

"How do you pick up a feminist? Like a bowling ball."

"I ask that my remains me kept in an urn... ...and whoever keeps the urn squirts some lotion in there periodically because you guys know I can't stand being ashy."

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? a pilot"

"What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."

"Day three of MAN COLD. I feel death lurking. Its waiting for me to give up. Stay strong! Think of the cat. He'll eat you if you die."

"I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?"

"What has 2 legs and bleeds......? ....half a dog."

"[VIDEO] John Oliver Agrees With You For 22 Minutes"