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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man who went into the doctor for anal glaucoma? He couldn't see his ass going into work."

"They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer.... So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him."

"What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy? A silly-yak."

"What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died? I can't bereave it!"

"Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir."

"I'm really worried of discrimination based on skin color during the Trump regime The thing is, unfortunately, I'm not orange..."

"I just got a great deal on some real estate in California. It was a fire sale!"

"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."

"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."

"How do you make a woman scream? You fuck her in the ass. How do you make her scream again? You wipe your dick off with the drapes."