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Joke of the Day

"I told her she has a nice ass. As a lady, she looked at me like my mom didn't raise me right. But we all know she'll smile about it in the ladies room."

"An app that makes your phone ring whenever someone asks ""so what's next for you"""

"what does a programmer and a photo have in common? They develop better in the dark"

"The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"""

"On the fifth day to election, the public gave to me... Five Gallup polls Four awful choices Three Trump Steaks Two more WikiLeaks And a cache of Clinton emails!"

"What do you call two Mexicans on a firetruck? Hose A and Hose B."

"Honey.... Where are my paaannts.??"

"If thieves ever broke into my house, searching for money... ...I'd just laugh and search with them."

"It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside."

"I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really did they accept him?"