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Joke of the Day

"RIPE David Bowie People are treating it as a rock and roll suicide Edit: rip not ripe ;-;"

"I've been known to give sage advice from time-to-time. Though I do get funny looks for talking to herbs."

"Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?"

"Why don't white supremacist drink the water in Central America? Because it's Nicaragua"

"What happens when you eat burgers with onions? Bunions. (written by my 25 year old girlfriend)"

"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."

"Sally Jokes Why did sally fall of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock? *who's there?* Not Sally."

"How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his bottom."

"as your casket is lowered into the cold, fresh earth, i lean down to you, my love, and whisper my final word...""unfollowed"""