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Joke of the Day

"My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn't invite anybody I could eat all the snacks."

"A priest ,a rabbi and a homeless man walk into a bar.. The homeless man order a beer while the rabbi and priest do jager bombs . Who's gonna pick up the tab?"

"Hey, new Beatles fans! The fuck have you been doing for the last 50 years? Every record shop would like to know before they close forever."

"My girlfriend said she liked surprises. But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia."

"Soup Person1 my alphabet soup is telling me a message. Person 2 what is it saying? Person1: oooooo Person 2 *sigh* Those are cheerios"

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn."

"How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree? If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded."

"We all have our weaknesses. Yours are just more obvious."

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light."

"The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is."