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Joke of the Day
"What was the last pizza the twin towers had? A plane one."
Next Joke
"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"
"i'm actually pretty attractive if you never compare me to anyone ever"
"I'm the kind of girl who won't stop until you're screaming your safeword. Related: Your safeword's the first 16 digits of your credit card."
"Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping."
"What do you call a confident chicken? Cocky"
"[becomes allergic to the floor midway through a date & slowly floats out of a window]"
"Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies? Duh. Cause he's da foe."
"something we all think is funny. Everybody thinks a pussy fart is funny, right?"
"What does the future hold? Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even."