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Joke of the Day

"'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"" A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"Saw a man waiting for the bus who just stood there staring into the distance. It was as if he just didn't own a phone or something. Weird."

"Here's a Post Office joke Nevermind, you'll probably never get it."

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."

"What do Trump and Sanders have in common? They both have an equal chance of winning the Democratic nomination."

"What do you call it when you marry your male cousin? Your Cuzband"

"Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was ""we really shouldn't be talking about this""."

"Quick Jokes http://thoughtcatalog.com/christopher-hudspeth/2013/09/50-terrible-quick-jokes-thatll-get-you-a-laugh-on-demand/"

"A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs. Bartender: What's with the steering wheel? Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!"