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Joke of the Day

"There's no more dangerous entity on earth than a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her ""Well now, that's a pretty big word for an eight year old."""

"My 4yo just noticed me trying to throw out an old, wrecked piece of Lego & by the look he gave me I'm afraid to go to sleep now."

"Don't compare whales to feminists... It's very offensive to whales"

"What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with? A TACK"

"How many tacos does it take to change a lightbulb? why don't we have both?"

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, ""I'm sorry sir, that's just gone out."""

"trying to be funny is hard I wake up in the morning with a good one and no one is around to hear it."

"My favorite pickup line.... Hey, smell this... does this smell like chloroform?"

"Dishwasher at work is like my girlfriend... It has everything it needs, but still beeps."