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Joke of the Day

"Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters."

"My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian, it's like I've never seen herbivore!"

"Where do you put a black jew? the back of the oven!!!!"

"I tried... I tried reading a book about self-hypnosis but it keeps sending me to sleep."

"I'm glad I didn't go to primary school with Freud. I bet his ""your mom"" jokes made a few kids cry."

"TIFU by mis-targeting my torpedo Whoops, wrong sub."

"Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to ""Unstable"""

"Rockstar has pretty much confirmed it's making a new Red Dead ... ... Grand Theft Auto V dlc with new customizable skins inspired by attire in the famous western-themed game."

"Do you know that percussionist in the band? Yeah, he rings a bell."

"Police hunting a man for indecent assault. Applications close next week."