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Joke of the Day

"After getting picked on by a few lads at college, my mum offered to go down and sort it out. Now they can't bully me for never having a blowjob any more."

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"What do you call an Arab oil baron with Parkinson's? Sheik Shake"
".@Garfield because of your ""cartoon"" I fed my beloved Mr. Turtle lasagna & coffee for his birthday & he died. I will fuck your soul."
"Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or ...?"
"Bill Russell tried to sell a championship ring to LeBron James for $1...... ...... but LeBron only has 3 quarters. Read online on a comment. LOL"
"I walked into the Urgent Care bathroom and read a sign that said ""Nothing other than Toilet Paper in the Toilet"" So I Shit on the floor and flushed the toilet paper."
"This is my favorite amnesia joke: Shit, I forgot it."
"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder."
"Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border. How did they train it to do that?"
"I told Jim he is upside-down His nose runs and his feet smell."