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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: [crying] guess what my sister just told me ME: she's a liar WIFE: are you saying her dog didn't die? ME: [wiping sweat] I love you"

"Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"a mute tells a deaf person a joke"

"Why do bunnies have soft sex? They have cotton balls."

"Tonight you will be bound and beaten until you almost loose consciousness and your tear ducts are dry Sorry wrong sub"

"Local humor How can you tell a chemist from a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized""."

"Things that just weren't meant to be heated in a microwave: lettuce, mustaches, avocados, sarcasm, other microwaves, oranges. And that's it."

"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !"

"My handheld social networking device is ringing! What do I do?"