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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat and then I remember they just feed off attention."

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around""."

"My local policeman does a tall on heroin. I don't know why, we can never understand a word he says."

"How do you spot an attention whore on reddit? Edit: Wow, I did not expect this to get so many upvotes!"

"I'm in a very serious relationship with Batman. My beloved Baeman."

"What do you call a chicken takeover of the government? A coop."

"What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's head? The steering wheel."

"If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've said... I would be able to buy a Nigger"

"My GF can't stand that I'm a model Prisoner"

"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder."