117884

Joke of the Day

"What did the man order at the Indian restaurant? It's Naan of your business."

"Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about."

"I once watched two guys arguing in sign language. Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts."

"How do you greet a German baker? Gluten Tag"

"The miserly squirrel never found a mate, because he insisted on aprenutshell agreement."

"*puts up baby gates all around the outside of my house* There. That should keep 'em out."

"I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable."

"I used to have a great job as a lifeguard, until this blue kid got me fired."

"ROMEO:But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you."

"What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle."