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Joke of the Day
"Me. *Throws coat over a puddle* Her. ""WTF are you doing with my coat?"""
Next Joke
"Mad props to New York for dressing up as New Orleans for Halloween."
"You're like the menstrual cramp and bloating of people."
"Whats worse, being a vegan inmate or non vegan? Or non vegan inmate* Depends on whether you want to eat meat or toss salad."
"Never judge a book by it's cover....."
"C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar... The bartender shows them the door and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors."""
"I sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine a world with no poverty and also that my hand is a woman."
"Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side"
"Fuck. I just mentioned that it was my birthday as a pickup line to this hot girl at the bar and her fat friend is now asking about cake."
"Smokey: ""Only you can prevent forest fires"" Me: HOLY SHIT A TALKING BEAR"