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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole."

"Me: Who could that be? It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock? Me: It depends on how they were raised..."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper up to a mile away."

"Ooo! The morning weather girl... Come on baby, give daddy the five day forecast."

"I miss my ex-girlfriend... I can't seem to hit her."

"What do you call a Mexican who acts like a white person? A Juan-a-be"

"How is God just like a regular man? If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers."

"What did Santa say when he went to a brothel? Hoe hoe hoe!"

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies screw in dirty sleeping bags!"

"What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security."