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Joke of the Day

"[interview] HIM: have u ever bribed anyone? ME: *pulls a package of OREO's from briefcase and slides across table* depends on who's asking"

"I'd like to thank my student loans I don't think i can ever repay them for getting me through college"

"Three men walk into a bar... One said ouch."

"A Canadian walks into a bar has a drink, pays his tab, and leaves."

"I was going to make a dubstep joke But I'll just drop it."

"What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow."

"Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer."

"We are all Asian We are all older than we were yesterday."

"It's about time I talked to the boy about the birds and the bees. If memory serves, it's the stork that delivers and the swallow receives?"

"Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Tweet while drinking, Wake up with regret."