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Joke of the Day

"Spanish for wife - ""esposa"" Spanish for handcuffs - ""esposas"" Well played, Spanish"

"Who is the 0.666 humorist here? [META]"

"I said, should we go to my place? She said, ""Come to my house tomorrow, no ones gonna be home. "" I went to her house. No one was there."

"""Stop the bus and let my friend Jack off!"""

"How do you buy hair? You have toupee"

"someone should create huge peanuts so elephants don't have to take so long to eat and therefore have more time to reflect on being awesome"

"Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog."

"I always yell ""Cut!"" after I drop the soap in the shower because there's usually some Peeping Tom filming me & I want that part edited out."

"Q: Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread? A: Because he tried to get fresh."

"Not sure if the bulb for my check engine light finally burned itself out or if my car magically fixed itself, but I'm going with the latter"