50547

Joke of the Day

"I said, should we go to my place? She said, ""Come to my house tomorrow, no ones gonna be home. "" I went to her house. No one was there."

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent! I'm not ashamed."

"Did you hear about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes? Neither did I."

"If you named your kid Hunter because you like to hunt, then I hate you. Who names a kid after an activity?. *Storms off w/ his son, Kegger"

"""What if Waldo finds me first?"" I ask naively. Grandma closes the book; the blood drains from her face. ""Don't let that happen,"" she warns."

"What don't homeless people get? Knock knock jokes"

"If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats."

"If you listened to your heart please speak to a doctor cause it's isn't normal for a piece of meat to be speaking to you"

"If you're having a weird pain today remember, tons of people die from that stuff all the time."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?.....wiped his ass"