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Joke of the Day

"one time a girl asked for my number and i got so nervous that i accidentally gave her my social security number"

"I hate when job recruiters ask me where I see myself in 5 years. Like come on, dude, I don't have 2020 vision."

"*narrows my eyes at you suspiciously* *keeps narrowing them* *closes them entirely* [naps]"

"Why are atheists afraid of exponents? They don't believe in a higher power."

"What gave Hitler a heart attack? Seeing his gas bill"

"There are 2 types of college majors... A B. S. major and a BS major"

"It's time for dirty limericks! There once was a lady from Decatur Who got laid by a large alligator. But nobody knew The result of that screw Because after he laid her, he ate her."

"So if google glass got a virus.. Would it be called malware or malwear?"

"An alligator decided to have unprotected sex... Now he has Gatorades."

"My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email."