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Joke of the Day
"PRESIDENT OBAMA: I pardon this turkey- TURKEY: Nope. I'm ready. 2016 was a shit show. Kill me now"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? (slightly NSFW) A pickpocket snatches watches."
"Thought of this one when i woke up today If someone injects Orange juice into their arm is it a Breakfix?"
"[unleashes dog at dog park] me: don't embarrass me now dog: i won't *sees pretty girl* me: hi, i'm dog: he drinks wine through a straw"
"What do you call the beautiful women in Australia... Tourists."
"What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law? Failing to get away."
"Why do Apples new headphones look like tampons? Because they're made exclusively for cunts."
"I invented the upside down house. It's now a top cellar."
"Sometimes I feel like a real perv when I'm watching girls get dressed through a pair of binoculars"
"A dog walks into a bar and says I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."