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Joke of the Day

"PRESIDENT OBAMA: I pardon this turkey- TURKEY: Nope. I'm ready. 2016 was a shit show. Kill me now"

"Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's? One for 2008 and one for 2016."

"I was shocked to see how much vibrators cost these days... My wife must be sitting on a fortune."

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !"

"Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges."

"What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6? ""Get bent"" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it."

"What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn."

"ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice."

"(Ad for a baby) gently used can't even kill you doesn't shed poops on a learning curve goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years"