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Joke of the Day
"When does the narwhal bacon? Ellen Pao needs to resign immediately."
Next Joke
"Whats the only problem with eating vegetables? Getting them back in their chair."
"A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says ""ladies, is anything ok?"""
"My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, ""damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"""
"It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours."
"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"My girlfriend's accused me of cheating with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. How can she say that?!?!"
"I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler ""WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"""
"The candidates keep appealing to ""Hard Working Americans""... But what about the Reddit community?"