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Joke of the Day

"What was Lincoln's worst decision as President? He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth"

"What do you call a blind Australian Crocodile? Q: What do you call a blind Australian Crocodile? A: Crocodile Dunsee"

"People say size doesn't matter... But I'd like her better if she didn't have a dick at all."

"actors kiss each other for like 7 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 4 months"

"What do you call a dog with no legs and balls of steal? Sparkie."

"Here's your social security card. It's paper & has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."

"I drink to forget that I accidentally once said ""I love you"" when ending a call with a customer service rep."

"A flock of dads is called a grill."

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real"

"Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes one cigarette lighter."