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Joke of the Day
"Monday mornings shouldn't start until noon."
Next Joke
"If you think you're bad with words, imagine the first guy to say ""There there"" when consoling someone"
"Mom: I called you bc I was watching a TV show & thought of you! Me: Ya? What show? My Mom (laughing): A show about Aliens! Very funny Mom!"
"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."
"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"
"A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one"
"TIL that saying sushi instead of so shitty makes you smile. that is all. no need to click this. If you are reading this you clicked the link, and you are sushi."
"Hello everyone. How are we? ...was the capital of Wodesia"
"It would suck to have writer's block but then come up with a great idea for a suicide note."
"The only thing standing between me and greatness, is millions of people who are more talented and want it more."