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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid asks his father for five dollars... and his father replies; ""Four dollars!? What do you need three dollars for!? Here's two!"""

"What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building? The Czech bounced."

"I would rather have Bill Cosby as President than Donald Trump.. because if America is gonna get fucked for 4 years I wanna be asleep when it happens."

"I always wake up my friend by shouting ""Hands off cocks! On with socks!"" I don't think she likes it."

"Stranger: ""Hey, I like your beard!"" Me: ""Thanks, it's really growing on me"""

"What do you call a blonde that dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence."

"""Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, yep, yep, uh huh, uh huh, ok, you too, bye"": Man side of every phone conversation with his wife."

"I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day."

"Never trust an atom They make up everything"

"My wife gets a bit irritated when I talk about my second and third marriage because, you know, she's my first."