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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words ... ""Stop shaking the fucking ladder you little cunt!"""

"If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party what is a pig the symbol of? Any party where there's lots of food."

"I saw a man at the beach yelling ""Help, shark! Help!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here!"" Mushroom says, ""Come on, I'm a fungi!"""

"""tell... my wife... i loved her..."" carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER... TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP"

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."

"Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you"

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other, ""Something smells a bit fishy!"""

"Infants annoy me How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? you nail it's other hand to the floor"

"Relative's be like Them: What's your age ? Me: I'm 20 Them: Oh, when i was your age i was 21"