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Joke of the Day
"How many armed men does it take to extort an Olympic athlete? A Brazilian."
Next Joke
"ME: Eat your lemon PIRATE: No ME: It stops scurvy PIRATE: [folds arms, shuts eye] ME: [carves tiny skull on lemon] PIRATE: [opens eye a bit]"
"What's the best side of the house to build a deck on? The outside"
"A horse walks in to a bar A horse walks into a bar. The bartender is also a horse. Everyone human is a horse now. Our lives are simultaneously more and less complicated."
"Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly walk into a bar Or do they?"
"I was going to buy a greek yogurt today, every little helps. Come on guys, lets pull together."
"""Mommy, why does an old person's skin look so see-through?"" Aw, honey, it's just because they are getting ready to be a ghost. Sleep tight."
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. ^^^^^Sorry"
"In the medical community, death is referred to as ""Chuck Norris Disease"""
"What do astronauts eat for dinner? Launch meat."