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Joke of the Day

"One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them"

"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."

"If I got 1$ for every failed math exam... I'd have $ 10.30 now."

"The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it. Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?"

"I play Jenga on the first date... so she knows my pull out games strong"

"Roses are Red Roses are red I'm feeling elated I'm doing Gisele My balls are deflated"

"[prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather"

"Ruth wasn't invited to the party. The people at the party were ruthless."

"I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal."

"What does 2 electrons say when the meet each other ? Hey, watt's up ?"