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Joke of the Day
"A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back."
Next Joke
"[Interview] ""Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?"" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes."
"Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family."
"Easter is almost here. So to celebrate, I'm going to get nailed and hammered like Jesus would want me to."
"What's long and thick and turns conservative women on? The Bible"
"What do waiters and prostitutes have in common? Just the tip."
"What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans? It was Bin Laden"
"What do you call a horse that lives next to you? A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke."
"A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower"
"This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: ""Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."""