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Joke of the Day

"Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back with the rest of it's little Lego friends."

"Teacher: What is the formula for water ? George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you ? George: Sure you said H to O !"

"Being married is a lot like being a DJ... Most nights you just tune out All noise and nod your head..."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Edit: For clarification, that's the joke."

"What are the man with no shoes say when he was forced to walk on broken glass? Fuck"

"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."

"[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] ""I've counted these fries."""

"Grandpa was a healthy 82 when he fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill really fast..."

"Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable."

"[kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Amazon. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Shipping. Go to sleep."