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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a woman and a dog? Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards."

"What do you call Batman when he skips Church? Christian Bale."

"[leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."

"If you're burglarizing a home and the owner walks in, defuse the situation by saying, ""I seriously love your place"""

"Two people have been killed and another seriously injured in a knife attack at an Ikea store in Sweden. Police are currently at the crime scene trying to piece the evidence together."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well... I can clearly see your nuts""."

"What do you call a waterfall that's all dried up? A waterfell."

"What has 400 legs and 23 teeth? The front row of a Trump rally"

"A tragic haiku hipsters panicking need a new pretentious food quinoa's too mainstream"

"If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer."