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Joke of the Day

"If you're burglarizing a home and the owner walks in, defuse the situation by saying, ""I seriously love your place"""

"Donald Trump has written a lot of books But they all ended with chapter 11"

"I woke up with a ringing in my left ear So I put my phone on vibrate."

"How do you start a racist joke? With a look over your shoulder."

"How do you turn tap water into holy water? You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har."

"Today my girlfriend left me Because I have a Linkin Park obsession... ...But in the end it doesnt even matter..."

"When accused by a woman a man's first instinct is to deny. We're not lying, we're just buying time to remember what you're talking about..."

"Where do bee's go to the bathroom? At the BP station."

"What did Michael Jackson say at the bank? ""Make that change"""

"My midwife just sat me down and gently broke the news that I am simply plump and she has no reason to be here."