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Joke of the Day

"The best part about this status update is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it"

"What does bigamy mean? One wife too many. What does monogamy mean? Same fucking thing."

"Two guys were walking down the street. . . One guy turns into a building, the other one goes, ""Oh my God! How the fuck did you do that?!"""

"What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel? A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters"

"I went to a disco last night... (mildly NSFW) They played The Twist, so I did the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen I got kicked out."

"Blonde Jokes What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red? Selling her soul for intelligence"

"Teenagers are so cute when they think you won't hit them"

"Friends and family sometimes said I was a kid stuck in a man's body. The police say I'm a man caught in a kids body."

"Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love; the poor know that it is money."

"Marital prejudice/ politics amongst fruit Q: What did Mr & Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon? A: But you cantaloupe!"