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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of half a pizza thinking it's been long enough since I ate the 1st half to consider this a different meal"

"I don't get why I'm supposed to like someone who's different in the streets and in the sheets sounds duplicitous just be a freak everywhere."

"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek God... I informed him Buddha was not Greek."

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Have an ice day. It's a bad one, I know."

"Unless you've been in Target with more than 1 child, you have no idea what it's like to be a lion tamer."

"I hired a private investigator but he spent two days staring at my hedges Turned out he was a privet investigator."

"today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING"

"Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."""

"My son has just earned his first boy scout award for 'video gaming'. I guess the next ones will be for 'social ineptitude' & 'pale skin'."

"Just saw John Cena! lol jk"