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Joke of the Day

"Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you're making this VERY DIFFICULT."

"Got this one from my nephew Knock knock. Who's there? Hoo. Hoo who? Big summer blowout!"

"What's the difference between some tuna , a piano and some glue ? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna"

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"Today TO DO list: 1) vacuum huge spider in living room 2) panic 3)throw vacuum cleaner outside 4)buy new spiderless vacuum"

"What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er."

"I'm off to a 3yr olds party. There'll be tears, tantrums and throwing up on the carpet. But enough about me, Im sure the kids will have fun."

"What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument? No lye?"

"What do you call a jewish bodybuilder? Muscletov."

"If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact."