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Joke of the Day

"What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention? A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)"

"If I want to check instructions and it's in Spanish, .. .. am I checking a Manuel?"

"An imperialist German wrestler walks into a bar... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN VON BISMARCK!"

"What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"I usually turn down the volume on my car radio when searching for an address, as if the house will shout out to me as I approach."

"What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? Paddy O'Furniture! (Happy St. Patrick's Day)"

"What do you call a shipping crate full of snails? Escargot."

"Women are like snorkels... They can go down, but occasionally need to come up for air."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic racist? He hated gingers."

"Rest of world: don't do anything crazy plz UK: fk u we used to own u watch this *does backflip *money falls out of pockets *cracks head open"