102873

Joke of the Day

"Rest of world: don't do anything crazy plz UK: fk u we used to own u watch this *does backflip *money falls out of pockets *cracks head open"

"Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again"

"Confucius say... Do not meet girl in park. Park meat in girl."

"Hard work pays off in the future but laziness pays off now"

"A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include ""Swam in water"" and ""Ate""."

"What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf"

"My eyes always hurt whenever I have sex It's probably the pepper spray"

"What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it? Coconut"

"Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 8"

"I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood."