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Joke of the Day

"Sports: So how's the shoestring game goin'? Right now, it's ***ALL TIED-UP!*** Oh my-oh-my! I couldn't find a cornylamejokes subreddit, so... ~Skip"

"Swear words Faggot shit fuck dick nigger slut ass pussy cunt damn whitey"

"What's blue, white and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A fridge in a denim jacket."

"The earthquake shortened Earth's day by 1.8 microseconds, so don't expect me to get everything done this week."

"9/10 dentists know where to find cavities The other one knows where to find lions."

"If you meet a woman who says your name with the same passion she says pumpkin spice latte you should marry her immediately"

"Two fish in a tank. [x-post from r/Jokes] One asks: How do you drive this thing?"

"Supposedly anagrams of people's names give you clues to how they're going to die... ... and [Hugh Dennis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Dennis) is an anagram of ""hung in shed""."

"My kid said he was gonna jump off the roof using a blanket as a parachute and I was like ""That won't work you idiot. Go get my umbrella""."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."