116610

Joke of the Day

"Me: *passes out pizza* 3: no fair, you have 4 slices and I only have 2 Me: *cuts his 2 slices into 6 slices* 3: wow, thank you"

"What do you call it when a story has a recurring train theme? A Loco Motif"

"Hitler is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager.. ""Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?"" Hitler asked. ""Today we're burning the diabetic"" answered the manager. Edit: Spelling."

"What's blue and doesn't fit any more? A dead epileptic."

"I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode."

"Teen for rent: Knows everything, does nothing."

"""Keep away from children to avoid suffocation"" was the best advice I've ever received. You have to pay for that nowadays"

"I asked this woman if shed join the membership gnomesayin"

"Me: ""You didn't tell me that."" Them: ""Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone."" Me (looks up): ""I'm sorry, what?"""

"Hey hedgehogs, how about leaving some hedges for the rest of us?"