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Joke of the Day

"Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......"

"I found a place where recycling rate is 98% Reddit."

"There are three people in this world... Those who can count, and those you can not."

"What is close to stupidity? Mexico and Canada"

"You know you're old when You see your favorite pornstar under the milf category"

"LPT: When Reddit is down it is a perfect time to do something away from your computer, like for example crying in a corner Well Reddit was down and I had to do something"

"Did you hear about the slow chef at the speed bake off? He would have won if he had just a little more thyme."

"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."

"I saw a black man carrying a T.V. today I though that it looked like mine, but when I got home he was still shining my shoes"

"Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."