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Joke of the Day

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"3 mods walk into a bar [deleted]"

"Got robbed. Someone broke into my house, stole my stuff, but then replaced everything with an exact replica. I pointed this out to my closest friend, and he went, ""Have we met?""."

"[Forest] GF: Oh god it's a bear! Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants* GF: What are you doing? Me: Making myself look big Bear: Well hi"

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? A stern letter from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding. *stolen from I Fucking Love Science"

"Why do canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game"

"*jesus turns around to find only 11 apostles* ""WHO UNFOLLOWED ME"""

"Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills"

"I like my women like i like my coffee.. Ground up on the back of an alpaca somewhere in south america."

"I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I've missed 3 mortgage payments."