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Joke of the Day

"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."

"Jack and jill Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. Jack had a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jills real name was Randy."

"In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror."

"Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!"

"Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet."

"Got in a fight with the wife so I didn't let her sleep on the couch with me last night."

"Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance? Because it was a moth ball."

"What's a sorority girls favorite camera? A Like uh"

"Wanted to share a Coke with my friend Amal But the closest name I could find was Juan. But I guess if you have seen Juan then you have seen Amal."

"I once knew a Vulcan who grew up in London He had a Spockney accent."